Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Excerpt from One Tear by Lila Munro and GIVEAWAY

A sarcastic cackle flew out of her as she leaned forward and placed her forehead on the edge of the now overturned trunk. “How long did you know about it?”

“Since before he left the last time.”

“Get out!” Madi rose and pointed toward the door, but the man she had called friend and counselor for months didn’t budge. “I said, get out. How dare you call yourself my friend.” Her voice caught and she fought to contain the sob threatening to burst forth.

Jared stood slowly, his jaw slack and hurt hanging in his gaze. He took Liz by the elbow and steered her toward the door. And just before the screen shut behind them Gretchen flew out, apparently quite rattled at Madi’s new personality.

It was then Madi retreated to the spare room. She sat down on the smooth oak boards in front of another official looking government issued box and removed the things inside placing them all around her. A picture of Gage in his dress uniform that had been set on his casket, the carefully folded flag she’d been given, and his beret with the 101st emblem prominently gracing the brim. Then she found a small box containing his dog tags and his wedding band. It was a miracle those things had survived the blast. These things were the remnants of the man she’d believed loved her, the pieces of a life that had never existed.

How could she have been so stupid not to have seen?

Blinded by tears she refused to allow to fall, Madi opened the tiny box then closed it and clutching it to her chest stood. She made her way back to the living room and wondered just how the hell she reconciled the contents of the smaller box with the contents of the much larger one.

Madi sank back to the floor and recalled the first memorial she’d ever had to attend for one of Gage’s fellow soldiers. A seasoned and crusty old Sergeant Major who’d seen fit to pull her and Gage under his wing had come by the evening before the service and had a little chat with her about her expected appearance and behavior.

“You never let them see you cry,” he’d said. “One tear. That’s all you allow to escape in public. Then you suck it up and move on.”

And she’d listened. With a brave face on, as Madi sat among hundreds watching the young man’s wife clutch a folded flag to her chest, the bright blue interrupted by blinding white stars a stark contrast to the black she wore, Madi had let one tear trickle from behind the dark glasses she wore. Then she’d tucked her emotions away and ignored them.

Some seven years later she found herself in the position of widow hanging on to that damn flag like it was a piece of Gage rather than a few yards of sacred fabric. And the Sergeant Major’s words came to haunt her when a flood welled up behind lids squeezed shut against the repercussion of seven guns firing in sync with respect and honor.

One tear.

That was all Madi allowed herself that day.

One tear her ass.

Who was anyone to dictate to her how many tears she should shed? Who was anyone to tell her not to cry over a life lost because it wasn’t proper protocol? Her husband wasn’t the only one to lose his life. Madi had lost a life as well. And she knew now why her counselor had urged her to stop suppressing her feelings and hiding in the dark to cry, had urged her to allow herself to go through the process of grieving.

Because Madi needed to grieve. Needed to get past denial. She needed to let go, get pissed, throw things. She needed to hate. And damn it. Madi needed to cry. She needed to sob and wail and scream so she could finally get through grieving and asking why and finally just accept.

Accept that yes, Gage was gone. He was never coming back. And it was okay to admit that while she was sad the reason he would never come back was because he was beneath six feet of cold, dark earth in Arlington, she was glad he was no longer in her life.

Madi didn’t love him, hadn’t in she couldn’t remember when. For that loss she also needed to grieve.
      And Madi’s grief deserved more than one tear.

One Tear is on sale at Amazon for $0.99 2/12-2/14-2014

a Rafflecopter giveaway


gemiinii said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gemiinii said...

Thanks for the giveaway!

terrndeb said...

Entered for day 3! Thanks for the giveaway!!!