Love of Shadows Excerpt 2

Earlier today I shared with you the first excerpt from my new book Love of Shadows. Here is the second excerpt. Having experienced an abusive relationship the young healer, Judith, resists getting involved with men. Despite this she falls for a good man called Bruno, but Judith's personal demons mean that the course of true love is not going well. 

Midnight. He wasn’t coming back. And who could blame him? Not me. Wasn’t that what I had wanted – to drive him away? I was so good at that.

Where was he?

I went to the window and looked out. The moon was full now, but scarred by thin clouds. The ship stood dark against the water. A wind had got up, the trees were tossing their heads. Down at the beach the shingle would be creaking under the weight of the waves. Where was he? This was a bad night to walk in.

What had he done to deserve this? Nothing. All he had done was fall in love with me and, worse, admit it. That was a terrible crime to be sure.

All night I sat by the window watching for his return, wanting it and dreading it. For what was there to say? If he had struck me, it might have been easier. I deserved that. I deserved a beating. And I had had so many I didn’t deserve. But he had done nothing, only looked at me and gone.

I was so tired. I leant my head against the window frame and looked out. The sea on its furthest edge was beginning to grow silver. Soon the barges would begin their journeys north. I hoped that he would be on one, going somewhere where people loved him. I was so tired of everything, of myself most of all. My eyes closed.