By Beverley Eikli
As a writer of historicals and historical romance it's always a balancing act to create a heroine who is on the one hand not too passive for the tastes of the modern reader, nor unrealistic in the actions she takes to exercise her free will. After all, she had no financial or legal independence and was totally dependant on the goodwill of her husband or nearest male relative, unless she were a widow.
Emily, in my Regency espionage historical romance (with mystery, adventure and suspense), has had no choice but to marry Angus, a passionately self-contained war hero, in order to maintain her honour, and that of her family - and keep her child. My Regency espionage romance details Emily's blossoming from downtrodden and ill-used to a woman who deserves the happiness she's fighting for.
Below is the first altercation she has with her new husband which shows something of her feelings for her situation, as well as her self image.
I hope you enjoy it.
Here's the set-up:
Angus and Emily, newly married, have just been visited unexpectedly by Angus’s brother and his unsuitable consort. Emily, embarrassed by her highly pregnant state and knowing it will cause gossip amongst Angus’s family, reacts in this scene to her husband’s apologies for the situation Emily has just confronted.
With deliberate care Emily set down the plates once more and turned to look at her husband through narrowed eyes.
‘For contaminating me with a lady of dubious repute? But Angus, how much worse a contaminant would I have been had you not married me?’ She patted her swollen belly. ‘You’d be apologising to your brother. A fallen woman—’
‘Don’t speak like that.’ His wide-set eyes burned with undeserved defence of her. ‘Men’s impulses can be ungovernable, but ladies do not suffer such … urges … You were … taken advantage of.’
Emily stared at him. She sucked in a long, quavering breath as her simmering anger came finally to the boil. Is that what he believed? That she was insensible to passion? And that was a good thing?
‘What would you say if I told you that my impulses were every bit as ungovernable as Jack’s?’ She could barely control her anger sufficiently to speak. For days she had forced her feelings into the background, using the same emotional device against her unwanted husband as she had when her father insulted her, shutting out the hurt by erecting a barrieras impenetrable as steel.
Now, feeling surged through her, blackening her vision and causing her to sway. She put her hand on the back of the sofa to steady herself.
Angus stood awkwardly by the door, as if unsure whether to move closer to support her, or beat a tactful retreat.
Emily glared at him. ‘What if I told you that I was so consumed by passion in Jack’s arms I would not have heeded the Blessed Virgin Mary cautioning me against the temptations of the flesh?’ She tried to regulate her breathing, but the rage was clawing its way further up her body, threatening to make her its puppet. She, who never lost her temper. ‘I loved Jack. I was his slave in passion, every bit as culpable as he. If you are so concerned for virtue, spare your condemnation of innocent Miss Galway. You need only cast your eyes upon your wife to be singed by my sin. There! I have confessed my true nature. Whatever you thought of me before, you cannot but think worse of me now.’ She registered the horror in his eyes and was glad for it. Much better that she banish any pretence between them.
She’d never expressed anger as poisonous as this. At first it frightened her, then it sent exhilaration pulsing through her. Her love for Jack had been cut off at the root. Now hatred filled her veins, making her feel alive again. ‘And so you know, I care nothing for your opinion,’ she added.
She managed to remain upright, though her vision came in waves. She could feel her strength leaving her, but she had to spit out the truth so he’d have no illusions as to the kind of woman he’d married. A woman no good man deserved.
‘You married me because you needed a wife. I married you so I could keep my child. We made a contract. My body is yours to do with as you please, but that is all you will ever have. My thoughts, my feelings, my love will be forever out of bounds to you.
end of excerpt
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