Sometimes, the
things you want to savor the most seem to pass by the fastest. Sometimes there
are moments you wish you could freeze and revisit whenever you wanted. As I
looked at Jillian, lying on my bed—with her pale skin against the dark fabric—I
knew this was one of those moments because everything would inevitably move by
so fast.
Articles of
clothing rained down on my bedroom floor as we pulled and yanked off the
remainder of each other’s clothes. Then it was just us. No bullshit. No pretenses.
The feeling was
so intense and consuming and kept building and building—becoming everything I
was and replacing everything I had. When I was finally able to let go and let
the fire within me burn, I was never so happy to be reduced to ashes because I
always felt at home in her flames.
And when we were
both still and the room was quiet, I didn’t mourn the fact that the moment had
passed and it was over. I knew from the fire, there’d be rebirth—something
stronger, something better and something to remind me why it was all right to
burn.
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