Sunday, July 10, 2011

Trust and Love

BIO: The Triad, otherwise known as the characters in the head of Sharita Lira are three separate muses that are the driving force behind her small amount of success. Misses Lira sees her own life as one that is very ordinary, so instead of presenting herself out to the world, she created three personalities that continue to haunt her all hours of the night to get several WIP’s done at the speed of light, and push her to the brink of sheer exhaustion, but she loves it and that’s the reason she hasn’t told them to get the hell out  her head.

Trust and Love

Greetings friends! This is Michael Mandrake. I’m glad to be appearing at the Goddess Fish blog today to speak about a subject I learned a lot about while writing my new novella in the Bound for Romance anthology.

The topic involves BDSM or bondage which in most people’s eyes, it is seen as the kinkiest when it comes to sexual activity. There are so many misconceptions about it and while reading and researching it dispelled a lot of my own prejudices as well.

The biggest is that BDSM or bondage is cruel and there’s no way you can show love to someone you might tie up and spank till they’re red but in all actuality that cannot be further from the truth.

In the world of D/s, they take abuse very seriously. If word gets out about a Dom mistreating a sub, then that Dom will be outed and not be trusted by anyone in the community. Notice that word, trusted or trust. To be respected in the world of bondage, trust is the most important thing between the D/s in their relationship.

So you say, how so? Well, the one that’s supposed to be taking care of you, your Dom or Mistress, Sir, should understand your limitations, what you like and dislike. In most cases, a safe word is established so the sub can tell the Master when they’ve had enough. What could be a better example of trust than that?

The other wrong way of thinking is that there is no element of love in this type of relationship. So untrue. There is. It goes back to the trust as well as the respect the D/s show to one another in their bond. To submit to someone and allow them to tie you up and completely trust them with your well being is the biggest display of how the sub loves their Dom. In turn, being the provider, protector, and lover of an individual is huge as well.

Of course, there’s so much more to explain but again, this is only a guestpost. To find out more, just search for BDSM, bondage, D/s, etc and there is a wealth of knowledge and I don’t mean just Wikipedia. It goes far beyond that. To find out more you have to dig deeper. If you’re truly interested, I know you will.

I’d like to thank you for listening. This is in support of my next novella, Binding Justice which is in the Sizzler Editions Bound for Romance anthology along with Em Petrova, Sarah Bella, and Clarice Clique.  

Here is a blurb and excerpt: Buylink 

Binding Justice Book trailer

Blurb: Binding Justice, the only gay fiction romance story in the anthology is a tale of an older man seeking the assistance after losing his wife to cancer. Throughout his life, he has had the desire to be with another man but due to his strict upbringing as well as his time in the armed forces, Sire Jacobs has suppressed those feelings. At the insistence of his gay friend Gabe, he decides to attend a party to find someone of home he can bring this side out. Enter in Jarvis Densley, a twenty three year old gay male, shunned by his parents and looking for someone to mentor and love him. Apparently, both have similar interests but will Sire's darker desire be what keeps them apart?

Excerpt PG
Sire felt like an old man amongst so many young people. It had been years since he’d been in a place like this.
I’m only here in support of Gabriel.
He reminded himself of that several times. Sire was pretty sure no one coming through that door would catch his eye. By the looks of things he was spot on since the clientele looked to be exactly what he wasn’t looking for.
Did he even know what kind of man he wanted? A young, strong, and pretty one. Not a drag queen or flamer.  
It amazed him he was going over this in his mind as he downed the last of his scotch while still taking in the sights. He never thought he’d get the chance to experience another man.
Still gazing, he noticed Gabe pulling someone’s hand through a crowd. When Sire locked eyes with Gabe, his friend nodded with a smile as the young man with him was turned to the right. After a couple of seconds, Sire got a glimpse of the guy. He was dressed in leather, looking very appealing even from a distance.
Sire sat up on his stool, angling his neck trying to get a good look as the twosome threaded through small throngs of people. Before he knew it, Gabe made his way over with a tall, lanky, gentleman with burgundy hair, brown eyes, chiseled features, and a wry smile. He looked a lot like one of the men on the flyer Gabe had earlier; almost the same outfit, his makeup perfect.
His look was just what Sire wanted.
Gabe grinned, “Sire, this is Jarvis Densley. I been talking with him a few minutes about his choice of clothing. He looks a lot like you asked about, right?”
Sire drew up his lips, stroking his beard.
Jarvis Densley, ugly name for a beautiful man.

Sharita L aka Michael M/Rawiya/BLMorticia

The Literary Triad -! Michael Mandrake -
Its Raining Men Blog -


C. Zampa said...

First of, my...want to see more of the story!

But I agree about trust. Love and trust ARE the key elements of BSDM. Although I know very little about it, I do not find it kinky or violent. Everyone has their own level of tolerance for the physical, and that--as far as I know---is the factor in bondage...the mutual tolerance and the big TRUST that must accompany it.
I enjoyed your post!

Michael said...

Thank you Carol!

Out of all the articles and journals I read, all involved talked about mutual trust.

It really dispelled a lot of incorrect notions I myself had.

I appreciate the visit!