Sunday, May 4, 2014

This Massage is Stressing Me Out

Hello folks.

I just wanted to send out some feelers, just to see if I'm not alone, or if I'm just a freak.

Since February, I've been working two jobs - well, three if you count being an author.  Make that three because I had to do my edits and release my book in March.  So three jobs, all very stressful, no time off, and my body shut down, or more accurate - knotted up.

I decided, with my second job earnings, I would buy one of those massage memberships at a spa chain that just opened up in my town.  I made an appointment, arrived at the recommended time, but should have arrived an hour earlier to fill out the massive amount of paperwork.

Ok, it wasn't a "massive" amount of paperwork, I'm just a mess and had to explain a lot.

If you haven't had a massage before, let me tell you one thing, they hurt.  Hurt like a mutha been done wrong.  People just say they feel good, because they do when it's over.  But I must confess, I requested a deep tissue massage, and they need to work out all the knots - which apparently I collect like a seasoned hoarder.

So as the therapist is running her elbow up and down my spine with the grace and pressure of a WWE wrestler, I'm trying to go to my happy place, but all I am thinking of is how much pain I'm in.  The mantra running through my head is, "Don't fart, don't fart, don't fart - man I have to pee - don't fart, don't fart."  This is especially hard when she pulls on my fingers.

After my massage, the therapist told me with a serious face on, that I had to come back more than once a month, as the membership pays for only one a month.  I'm that much of a mess, I NEED more massages.

Seriously though, if you, like me, are overworked and in much pain, I do recommend getting frequent massages.  After my third one, my health started to improve, and my pain has diminished.  I just wish I could turn off my brain.

Thanks for listening.

Need some relaxation now?  I'm offering one lucky person a gift of tea, chocolate, and literature (a copy of my two books Angel's Code and Angel's Betrayal.) For those of you who would like to have a chance to win a relaxation package, please leave a comment below.  I would love to hear your horror relaxation stories.  A winner will be chosen at random.


E.L. F. said...

I have only had massages a few times in my life. One thing I have discovered is that it is VERY important that your masseuse knows what they are doing (and I am glad to read that I am not the only person who worries about certain natural body functions at the time) because I was sore for about a week after one experience. A good masseuse can find spots that you don't know you were tense/sore in and I agree, it can be a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing!

Great to get to know so many of you lovely authors. I have to run but hopefully will stop by later and catch up on the excerpts. Have a wonderful day everyone! said...

I would love a massage. Haven't had one since therapy after my wreck several years ago.