This Massage is Stressing Me Out

Hello folks.

I just wanted to send out some feelers, just to see if I'm not alone, or if I'm just a freak.

Since February, I've been working two jobs - well, three if you count being an author.  Make that three because I had to do my edits and release my book in March.  So three jobs, all very stressful, no time off, and my body shut down, or more accurate - knotted up.

I decided, with my second job earnings, I would buy one of those massage memberships at a spa chain that just opened up in my town.  I made an appointment, arrived at the recommended time, but should have arrived an hour earlier to fill out the massive amount of paperwork.

Ok, it wasn't a "massive" amount of paperwork, I'm just a mess and had to explain a lot.

If you haven't had a massage before, let me tell you one thing, they hurt.  Hurt like a mutha been done wrong.  People just say they feel good, because they do when it's over.  But I must confess, I requested a deep tissue massage, and they need to work out all the knots - which apparently I collect like a seasoned hoarder.

So as the therapist is running her elbow up and down my spine with the grace and pressure of a WWE wrestler, I'm trying to go to my happy place, but all I am thinking of is how much pain I'm in.  The mantra running through my head is, "Don't fart, don't fart, don't fart - man I have to pee - don't fart, don't fart."  This is especially hard when she pulls on my fingers.

After my massage, the therapist told me with a serious face on, that I had to come back more than once a month, as the membership pays for only one a month.  I'm that much of a mess, I NEED more massages.

Seriously though, if you, like me, are overworked and in much pain, I do recommend getting frequent massages.  After my third one, my health started to improve, and my pain has diminished.  I just wish I could turn off my brain.

Thanks for listening.


Need some relaxation now?  I'm offering one lucky person a gift of tea, chocolate, and literature (a copy of my two books Angel's Code and Angel's Betrayal.) For those of you who would like to have a chance to win a relaxation package, please leave a comment below.  I would love to hear your horror relaxation stories.  A winner will be chosen at random.

But wait, there's more - Barnes and Noble Gift Card Giveaway.

Hi.

It's me again.  H. A. Somerled.

I was thinking, why should just one person get a gift card?

That's very grinchy of me.  

So I went out and got three more gift cards.  This time $15 to Barnes and Noble.  

This is a great card for a stocking stuffer, a little gift for that weird neighbor who comes around every year with random homemade christmas treats. 

(By the way this year I'm bringing homemade twix bars and festive rice krispie treats.)

Or you can keep it for yourself and buy a few books.

May I suggest one?

So you know the drill, Leave a comment and then at 9pm I will randomly pick three winners.

Good Luck!

If you still don't win, I am very sorry. I still like you though.  And if you feel the same you can find my book and other great books from the Books to Go Now Authors at 

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

iTunes

Just in time for Cyber Monday - $25 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway

Greetings Fishers!

My name is H. A. Somerled and I am so pleased you have come to party with the authors from Books to Go Now.  Knowing a few of the authors personally, I can tell you that we are a rowdy bunch.

How much do you like thrilling adventures?

Mysteries that keep you guessing?

 Kick ass female protagonists?

Who doesn't?

Do you watch Bond Movies, Person of Interest, The Blacklist, and Sherlock?

 Are you struggling with the fact that most of these shows are on hiatus

until after the holidays?

Does your heart yearn to bridge the gap before you see Benedict Cumberbatch's stellar cheekbones, intense grey eyes and hear his snide smart-ass comments again?

  Well do I have a book for you!  

     Angel's Code is a rambunctious, thrilling romp through the seedy world of cyber crime in the streets of London.  The story revolves around Danny Murray and his introduction into the hacker lifestyle.
Danny - a young, bored web design student at Birkbeck College - dreams of becoming more than just an IT guy.  He wants to make a mark on the world, and releases a prank virus, attracting the attention of internationally renown hacker, “The Fallen Angel.”
Angel agrees to teach the young Danny the ways of the hacker, but his online skills are not the ones in need of refining.
     The only setback Danny has is his older brother, Oliver Murray, who has just been promoted head inspector of the cyber crime division for London’s Metropolitan Police.  Oliver feels it is his main duty to keep Danny away from the mysterious, and dangerous Angel.
However, when the tables are turned and Oliver is the one in need of rescuing, will the skills Danny learned from Angel be enough to save his brother from Cyber Terrorist Ahmed Eid?

Here's a taste:

  With a shaking hand, Johnson gave Oliver the file.  Oliver snatched it from Johnson, flipped open the file and read the report.  He barely noticed that a hush had fallen over the room, as he read.  Oliver scanned through the technical jargon and halted when he read the suspect’s name, Danny Murray - his brother.
“Shit,” Oliver said under his breath.  “Bring him in for questioning.”
“Yes, sir,” Johnson snapped to attention.  “I’ll mobilize a team right away.”  
Oliver turned around in his chair and stared out the window.  “Damn it, Danny. What have you done?”


It's the first in the series, and don't worry, the second, Angel's Betrayal, will be out soon.

So how can I get this masterpiece, you ask?  I spent all my money on discounted animated talking grumpy cats on Black Friday and they didn't even come with batteries!

My friend you are in luck!

I am giving away a $25 gift card to Amazon!  All you have to do is leave a comment, and by random a winner will be chosen after the party (which ends at 9pm EST).

And if you don't win, but still really want a copy of Angel's Code you can find it on:

Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and iTunes

Thank you for attending the party, and HUGE THANK YOU to Goddess Fish Promotions, you throw one heck of a party!

Still want more?

You can follow me on my blog and sign up for email updates there (Don't worry, I promise not to spam you, I find it annoying and it's way too much work).  You can like my author page on Facebook,  and you can retweet my words of wisdom on twitter.  I also have a website.

H. A. Somerled lives in the Missoula, Montana area. After an uneventful tour in the U.S. Navy, she followed her passions and enrolled in Culinary School. She graduated from the Colorado Institute of Art and has also completed a writing course from the Long Ridge Writer's Group.  This is her first published work.
She has two dogs, a puggle named Fritter and a pug named Flapjack.  She considers herself lucky to be single and claims she's half the age she really is.